Previously unseen footage
by Psycofoxx
Summary: Chapter 2. More caffiene more sugar, and more spoilers.
1. Default Chapter

This is just a pathetic attempt to be funny. Please review, even if it's a bad one, which it almost certainly will be. If we get enough good reviews we might continue.  
  
New Scenes for Final Fantasy 10  
  
1.(Trial before the maesters)  
  
Mika: Heh heh heh, you would have to send me too.  
  
Yuna: You're all unsent?  
  
Tidus: (grabs hold of Auron's coat) I see dead people! They're walking around just like everyone else. They're everywhere!  
  
Auron: (Glare)  
  
2.(As Auron is leaving Zanarkand)  
  
Tidus: DEAD MAN WALKING!  
  
Auron: (Glare)  
  
3. Dead Guardian skit (Random shop)  
  
Tidus: (pointing at Auron) I would like to register a complaint about this guardian!  
  
Shopkeeper: What? What's wrong with him?  
  
Tidus: This Guardian is dead!  
  
Shopkeeper: What?  
  
Tidus: This guardian is deceased!  
  
Auron: (Glare)  
  
4.Lulu's new legendary weapon… Barbie!  
  
5.(Temple of Shiva)  
  
Tromell: Oh my god, they killed Seymour!  
  
Guado Guardian: You Bastard!  
  
6.(Final Fantasy Villain's ball)  
  
Seymour: (sees Kuja) Oh my god! Someone else is wearing the same villain costume as me! Just take me home right now before someone sees me! I'm so embarrassed.  
  
7. (Family Counseling session)  
  
Psychiatrist: Now what seems to be your problem?  
  
Tidus: My dad keeps swallowing me and throwing me in other places in the world!  
  
Sin: (sweatdrop)  
  
8.Fanfiction Author 1: There has got to be some kind of Kimahri joke out there…  
  
Fanfiction Author 2: umm Catnip? Kitty litter?  
  
FA1: no  
  
FA2: Wait I've got it!  
  
(Macalaneia woods)  
  
Tidus: Here Kitty kitty kitty…  
  
Whacked from behind with a spear.  
  
9. (Looking over Wakka's family album)  
  
Tidus: So, you're related to Alfalfa?  
  
Wakka: Well I don't like to talk about it, ya.  
  
Tidus: Whose this here?  
  
Wakka: Raijin. We don't like to talk about him either y'know.  
  
10. (Mi'ihen Highroad)  
  
Tidus: Yuna, why are you stumbling?  
  
Yuna: I lost one of my contact lenses in Besaid.  
  
11. Yuna summons Ifrit. Tidus and Rikku roast marshmallows.  
  
12. (Fiend casts stone on young Auron)  
  
Jecht: With the way he complains about my drinking, you wouldn't think he would be the type to get stoned.  
  
13. (Fiend casts stone on old Auron)  
  
Tidus: He was already a stiff…  
  
14. Fiend silences Kimahri… No one notices  
  
15. (Luca)  
  
Animal control darts Kimahri.  
  
Worker 1: We just keep finding him in cities!  
  
16. Rikku uses her overdrive, which somehow manages to turn Auron hot pink.  
  
Rikku: Oops, heh heh. That really looks good on you.  
  
Auron: (Glare)  
  
17. (Via Purifico)  
  
Guard:Okay, we're done throwing the two blitzball players and the Al Bhed salvager in the water; they'll drown for sure!  
  
18. (Sin surfaces near operation meathead Mi'ihen)  
  
Sin: Heeeeeerrrreee'sss Johnny!  
  
19. (Yuna summons Ixion)  
  
Yuna: I always wanted a pony.  
  
20. (Calm Lands)  
  
Old Man: High summoner Gandorf made this rift fighting Sin.  
  
Tidus: Don't you mean Gandalf?  
  
Old Man: Shh, Do you want to get sued?  
  
21. (Jecht Sphere)  
  
Auron: You brought the camera, so why am I doing all of the recording?  
  
Jecht: Well if you want I can put you on tape.  
  
Auron: Nevermind.  
  
22. (Jecht Sphere)  
  
Jecht is lying down hung over. Auron is loudly practicing on a metal railing.  
  
Jecht: whimpers and covers his head  
  
Auron: You said your drinking wouldn't cause any problems.  
  
Jecht: Sadist.  
  
23. (Operation Mi'ihen)  
  
Auron: Tidus, go hang this on Yuna. (hands him a sign reading "Taken- NOT available for marriage")  
  
24. (Random Burger King after Sin is defeated)  
  
Yojimbo: Can I help you?  
  
Wakka: What are you doing here?  
  
Yojimbo: Well ever since Sin was defeated no one's needed a powerful summon, so I've been running low on money…  
  
Tidus: What do you do with the money anyway?  
  
25. Sin: Tidus I am your father  
  
Tidus: No. That can't be true. That's impossible!  
  
Sin: Look inside yourself, you know it to be true.  
  
Tidus: NOOOOOOOOO!  
  
26. Rikku: So Tidus, how do you cast Haste?  
  
Tidus: (Pulls out a bag of pixie sticks and chocolate covered espresso beans.)  
  
27. Cid: Yuna, the airship's battery ran out. Could we use Ixion to jumpstart it?  
  
28. (Ferry to Kilika)  
  
(Tidus is washed overboard)  
  
Lulu: I'll save you! (casts thunder)  
  
Wakka: Uh, Lu, it's not a good idea to cast thunder while he's still in the water, ya.  
  
Lulu: Oops.  
  
29. (Auron gets the Masamune)  
  
Sephiroth taps him on the shoulder…  
  
30. (Mi'ihen highbridge)  
  
Yuna: DIVORCE!!!!  
  
Bonus Halloween Costumes  
  
Auron: With a white sheet over him  
  
Rikku: The Power Puff Girl Bubbles (check the voice actress…)  
  
Lulu: The puppetmaster  
  
Kimahri: Red(Blue?) XIII  
  
Yuna: Angel  
  
Tidus: Robe and cloak (identical to Bahamut's fayth)  
  
Wakka: Moogle (with a red ball on his giant cowlick) 


	2. Bob

Usual "We do not own Squaresoft, FFX, any other references" blah blah blah…don't bother suing us, we are BROKE college students. You'll only earn our debts, a'la Faye in Cowboy Bebop.  
  
Much caffiene, much sugar, more reviews, and we might write more. As always, collaboration between Psycofoxx and Atolm2000, with some help from a random cat. Feel free to make suggestions for future Calm Jobs or Halloween Costumes.  
  
  
  
1.(As Auron brings Tidus to Sin at the beginning)  
  
Auron: Wake up Neo.  
  
2. (Random inn)  
  
*Inn music starts up with Tidus' snoring* SMACK!  
  
Lulu: STOP SNORING!  
  
3.Future use for Rikku's mix overdrive - Bartender.  
  
4. (Around the campfire)  
  
Rikku: Merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream…  
  
Tidus: *twitch*  
  
5. Yu Yevon: I'll get you Yojimbo, and your little dog too!  
  
6.(Lost Jecht sphere: Or how Auron learned the Tornado overdrive)  
  
*random fiend facing Auron's regular tornado*  
  
Jecht:(Stumbles out drunk) HEY! Want a drink? (Chucks the bottle at the tornado. Tornado bursts into flames)  
  
Auron: Wow, his drinking actually has a use.  
  
7. (Kilika Temple)  
  
Tidus: I just need to scream. AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Lulu: Don't worry about him he forgot his medication.  
  
8.(Looking over Tidus's family album)  
  
Wakka: Who's that?  
  
Tidus: My grandfather; he was a were-chocobo.  
  
Lulu: That explains the hair…  
  
9. (Air battle with Sin, Ship shoots off Sin's fin)  
  
Sin: It's only a flesh wound!  
  
Tidus: A flesh wound? Your fin's off!  
  
Sin: No it isn't!  
  
10. (Yuna summons Yojimbo)  
  
Rikku:(singing) How much is that dog-gy in the window…  
  
11.(Yojimbo at final battle with Yu Yevon)  
  
Yojimbo: This wasn't in my contract!!!!  
  
12. (Macalania woods)  
  
Tidus: Where's Kimahri?  
  
Kimahri:(chasing butterflies)  
  
13. (Fighting new plant monster)  
  
Kimahri: (uses lancet)….. Catnip…….  
  
14.(Kilika ferry)  
  
Wakka: (throws blitzball at Sin's fin)  
  
Sin surfaces holding blitzball: Is this yours?  
  
15. (Yuna summons Yojimbo)  
  
Yojimbo: looks around for his dog.  
  
Dog: Runs by with a blitzball in his mouth, being chased by Wakka.  
  
16.The true secret of Lulu's dress physics, Duct tape!  
  
17. (Yuna, in psychiatrist office)  
  
Yuna: After my disastrous marriage, my relationship with Tidus was like a dream…  
  
18.Rikku: Are you just following us around?  
  
Maechen: Perhaps, or perhaps not.  
  
19.Rikku: Are you following us around?  
  
O'aka: You're putting my kids through college!  
  
20. (Yuna summons Ixion)  
  
Ixion: runs past followed by the red bull (Last Unicorn)  
  
21. (Towards end of game, phantom Zanarkand)  
  
Tidus: So…how do you do that floating thing? Can I do that?  
  
Bahamut(Fayth): * Sweatdrops*  
  
22. (Final battle with Seymour – Yuna summons Anima)  
  
Anima: *Picks Seymour up and spanks him *  
  
Seymour: MOOOM!!  
  
23. Yuna summons Magus Sisters. Fiends pull out flyswatter.  
  
24. (Mi'ihen Highroad)  
  
Tidus: Are we there yet?  
  
Auron: No.  
  
Tidus: Are we there yet?  
  
Auron: No.  
  
Tidus: Are we there yet?  
  
Auron: If you don't cut it out, we're going straight back to Zanarkand!  
  
Tidus: WOOHOO!! Are we there yet?  
  
Auron: Damn…  
  
25. The true reason there were so many jokes about eating fiends in the Gagazet Caves, road to Zanarkand, etc… Running out of food.  
  
26. (Farplane)  
  
Tidus: Sucks being the tragic hero, doesn't it?  
  
Aeris: Yeah…  
  
27. (The true reason behind all the Auron/Rikku pairings…the Thunder Plains)  
  
Rikku: So, if we stay close to the lightning rods which are the tallest things around, we won't get hit, right?  
  
Auron: Right.  
  
* Kimahri steps away…Rikku latches on to Auron as the next tallest person.*  
  
28. Yuna: (singing) Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream; make him the cutest that I've ever seen…  
  
29. (Why the group's costumes are so odd…)  
  
Lulu: There's a slight problem…I was trying to dry the laundry, and misjudged the fire spell.  
  
30. (Sanubia Desert)  
  
Rikku: Wait, that oasis wasn't there before.  
  
Tidus: I dunno, I just always seem to wake up face-down in the water.  
  
Bonus 1 – Halloween Costumes  
  
Tidus: Neo  
  
Yuna: The red-bordered white mage robes, from the earlier games  
  
Auron: Still a ghost. (Auron: I am not interested in trick-or-treating.)  
  
Lulu: Squall. (She has enough belts.)  
  
Wakka: Unicorn  
  
Rikku: Yuffie  
  
Kimahri: Moomba  
  
Bonus 2 – Aeon's Calm Jobs  
  
Valefor: Hang Glider  
  
Ifrit: Barbecue Grill  
  
Shiva: Making ice cream  
  
Ixion: Pony Rides  
  
Bahamut: Ties cart to the spinning wheel-thing to make a merry-go-round  
  
Yojimbo: Burger King, remember?  
  
Anima: Dock bouy  
  
Magus Sisters: Florists 


	3. Chapter 3

1. Djose Temple

The temple opens with flashes of lightning and flying rocks.

Yuna: Wow, that only happens when a summoner is speaking to the faith.

Tidus: I guess that explains the 'occupied sign'.

Just outside the chamber of the faith...

Dona: pounding on the door Are you going to take all day?

Issaru: Someone's in here!

2. In a "R" rated movie

Bouncer: I'm sorry milady summoner, you can't be in here without a parent or guardian.

Yuna: But, Tidus is my guardian!

3. Yuna: Fighting Sin.

Rikku: Trying to save Spira.  
Paine: Here we come just in time...

All: THE POWERPUFF GULLS!

4. Yuna Summons Anima. A giant chain thrusts itself into the earth and slowly rises holding the dark aeon. Anima falls off the chain...

Yuna: Damn! Fishes for another quarter

5. Bevelle Temple: Wedding ceremony  
All skiing down on the chains.  
Tidus: Dude, how'd you get down Lulu?

Lulu: humph

6. Lulu: If we face fiends in the water, we're counting on you three.

Tidus, Wakka, and Rikku fight their way through endless fish battles.

They climb out of the water and begin a battle with a behemoth. The party switches to Lulu.

Tidus: Okay, seriously, you've gotta tell me how you got here!

Lulu: Points to the bridge spanning the water level

7. Scene shatters in glass shards as a battle begins

Tidus: THEY GOT THE CAMERAMAN!

8. Fighting an Achelous underwater

Tidus attacks, achelous begins charging.

Wakka attacks, achelous charges.

Rikku steals...

Tidus: What happened?

Rikku: I got his credit card!

9. random monster hurts Tidus

Lulu pulls a potion out of her bra and throws it at him

Wakka: at full hitpoints Owww, I'm hurt too, ya.

10. Macalania Temple  
Tidus: We've got to stop Yuna from marrying Seymour!

Annoucer: We interrupt this daring rescue to bring you -- a blitzball game.

11. Tidus: Listen to my story..

Villagers: He's trying to narrate, get him!

Tidus gets dogpiled

12. After seeing Jyscal's sphere

Tidus: But, then why is Yuna meeting Seymour alone?

Auron: She's trying to offer him something for a way to negotiate, but Seymour is the better negotiator...

Yuna and Seymour walk out together

Seymour: Thanks Yuna, I'll stop my plans for world destruction! Walks off carting a fifty gallon drum of hair gel

13. In the calm lands

Yuna: Y'know, I don't think we were ever actually introduced...

Tidus: Yeah, it's like people have an aversion to saying my name or something.

Yuna: Well you can tell me right?

Tidus: Of course, its...

End cut scene 

14. Yuna and Tidus's marriage

Priest: Do you lady Yuna take... ummm... this guy to be your lawfully wedded husband?

15. Guadosalam

Guado guard: None may enter this house, it belonged to our great leader.

Yuna: Actually, I'm his grieving widow, and I want my money!

Guado Guard: What would you do with his inheritance anyway?

Yuna: Points at Yojimbo

16. Bevelle Temple

Seymour: I must be the one to kill her because she is my bride.

Kinoc: You can't just kill your wife.

Seymour: Actually, the Florida supreme court has declared I can, so nya!

17. Baaj temple

Tidus dives into the water. Tidus, Wakka, and Rikku fight past the monster into Anima's temple. Yuna approaches to pray to the faith.

Tidus: opens mouth ... Nevermind.

Lulu: Not gonna ask again?

Tidus: Just... Nevermind... I don't wanna know.

18. On Gagazet, right before Zanarkand

Auron: I remember being on this spot, as a young guardian about your age...

Wakka: Umm, I'm 23... If your you defeated Sin ten years ago... You're...

Rikku: 33?

Tidus: Wooow, time was not good to you.

Auron: GLARE

Tidus: I mean, you've been under a lot of stress and...

19. Zanarkand's temple

Tidus: You're unsent?

Rikku: That explains it, maybe dying aged him a lot.

Auron: Glares so hard he bursts a vein in his head and faints

Rikku: See? Stress.

20. Yunalesca: I will forge Spira a New Hope.

Yuna: You're more of a Phantom Menace!

Wakka: It's about time the people Strike Back!

Rikku: Are you guys just repeating stuff? This sounds like the Clone Wars...

21. Calm lands: Monster ranch

Tidus: Finally, I managed to catch a malboro for you.

SPCA Official: "You're under arrest for cruelty to an endangered species!"

22. Inside Sin

Yu Yevon possesses Yojimbo

Yojimbo: A-hem!

Yu Yevon: Ummm... searches non-existant pockets Raincheck?

Yojimbo: No.

Yu Yevon: Curses! Vanishes into nothing

23. Bahumat: You are a dream.

Tidus: I'm not a dream, I'm a real boy! (Nose grows)

24. Malboro 1: So, we're slimy, tentacle-y, cuthulian horrors.

Malboro 2: And we're named after cigarettes.

Malboro 3: Could we get more ostracized by society?

Perot: Wanna vote for a third party?

25. Tidus walks up to Belgamine, distraught

Tidus: I need to help Yuna!

Belgamine: Why are you asking me?

Tidus: You're the only one who knows what happens in the beyond.  
Belgamine: What are you talking about?

Tidus: It's Yuna, she's in danger, she's married to a corpse! She has a corpse groom!

26. Bevelle

Priest: ... Till death do you part?

Seymour: That's a little redundant, isn't it?

Halloween Costumes:

Auron: "Boo"

Lulu: Paine's twin

Yuna: Zookeeper  
Wakka: A flamingo! (I don't know why, don't ask me)

Rikku: Kiki the ferret

Tidus: Pinnochio

Khimari: Garfield

Aeon's Calm Jobs

Valefor: Kite

Ifreet: BBQ pit

Shiva: Air conditioner

Ixion: Triple AAA jumper cable

Bahumat: Wheel of fortune wheel (Shock Vanna White!)

Yojimbo: Bouncer

Anima: Actor for "Silent Hill the Movie"

Magus Sisters: Stunt doubles for Charlie's Angels

_Okay, this is only kinda a few years late, but it is done (kinda). I'm probably out of ideas on this, so its the last one. Hope you liked it._


End file.
